My Own Understanding

As a type-A, get-it-done-myself person, it is REALLY testing on my heart when reality doesn’t line up with plans, hopes, or expectations I have. It’s so comforting to feel in control of our lives, but the last two years have taught me that the only thing we can truly control is our reaction to the unexpected twists and turns life will inevitably take. I had a perfect analogy for this play out recently.

I haven’t ever had luck with gardening. To be fair, I don’t really try. But this year I was going to MAKE IT HAPPEN! I bought a beautiful “already going” plant from Costco and put it right in my sunny living room window to keep an eye on it! I watered it often and it I’ll be damned.. it grew!

I was so proud of what I had done!! Not only was it ALIVE, but it was impressive and at the center of my daily life. It was over 8 feet tall and had a dozen bright green sets of beautiful leaves. I took full control of the situation and forced the tomato plant into the plan that worked for me. STRONG WORK, Langley!

Well… any ACTUAL gardeners will either be laughing or yelling at me by now. I eventually became skeptical of this tomato plant. I continued to put effort and energy into this plan of mine… but was reaping no fruits of that effort - literally - zero fruit. A Facebook post of my 10-foot-tall, leggy tomato plant opened the flood gates for my gardener friends to tell me that my beautiful tomato plant wouldn’t ever bear fruit if I continued with my plan. (if you’re curious, tomatoes don’t do well with diffused sunlight and need pollination).

I put the plant outside, and it didn’t make it. All that time, energy, and control that I had put into the wrong plan yielded no results.

We also have 4 pots that literally weigh down the patio umbrella. Soil is probably 4 years old. They are forgotten behind patio furniture and have water balloon remnants in them. There are plant stakes from attempted tomatoes years ago, but it has gotten ZERO attention this summer.

Well, yesterday my daughter ran in, “Mom, MOM!! Come see this!!!” In an absolute twist of irony, I was shown that sometimes giving up all control is what actually yields results. Despite being out of sight, despite being out of mind, two plants, in separate pots, had each created a tomato. It was a beautiful discovery.

For me this is the perfect analogy for following our own plans (left) and following God’s plan (right). Sometimes trying to make things work might look pretty and feel good, but it will not bear the fruit we are looking for. What was put aside in stillness is what actually bore fruit. I’ve been wrestling with something that isn’t fitting into my plans. I worry that if I force MY plans, no fruit will grow. Church this weekend was about talking to God and having faith in people. I’ve been trying to find stillness in a really busy season to try and hear His voice. One of the beautiful things about my faith is that I don’t think I’m strong enough to mess up the plan God has for me. I’m sure I’ve taken a few unnecessary detours, but I don’t believe I can derail the goodness He has in store. I also don’t want to get in His way if I can help it. They say insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Maybe it’s time to mix things up and go in a different direction. If I’m wrong, He will course correct me as he has on many occasions. But if I’m right… I might reap a beautiful harvest.

I’ll continue to pray on it.

~XO Langley