Connection Points

Alternative Title: Love Tripod

Full disclosure, I ate a giant gas-station brownie covered in chocolate icing with chunks of Andes Mints sprinkled on top. Then I took a long, long shower and my sugar-high brain got to thinking. This post is a result of that thinking. Come along for the ride – haha!

So, I realized that there are three types of connection in a relationship: physical, mental & emotional. And all three have to exist at some level in order for the relationship to stay steady.

I present to you the love tripod!

Great, you’re still here!! I thought through these connection points, and I think each brings something different to the table.

Physical Connection: I think this is the most intense connection, but also the most fleeting. It isn’t as deep as the others, but is still very important. This connection can fade over time, and is probably based in evolution that we need a physical attraction to and compatibility with someone. This connection point can be tricky, because having a strong physical connection can easily overshadow a lacking connection in other areas.

Mental Connection: I feel like this one is more important to some people than others. For me, the goal is to find someone to grow old with and end up on a porch in rocking chairs shooting the shit and being able to talk about anything and everything. I want to learn and grow with someone on an intellectual level & share a similar sense of humor. If I don’t have the mental connection with someone for stimulating conversation, there’s no hope.

Emotional Connection: This is probably the slowest to evolve, but the deepest. For me, it’s also the most important. To be seen and known and understood is such a core piece to being with someone through the ups and downs. This is what has been missing in most of my relationships (and my marriage) despite my willingness to be vulnerable and lean in. Walls have to come down for this connection to happen, and so often people are guarded.

But what about other types of connection? I thought about spiritual, but I believe that’s between you and God. Personally, I want my person to have a spiritual connection, but not to me - that’s a relationship designed to be pointed upward. In growing alongside each other in faith, we will be able to have philosophical conversations that are mentally stimulating and seeing each other walk in faith and honor one another will also strengthen the emotional connection.  

If one of the connection points is missing, a relationship doesn’t have a firm foundation. If a connection point is weak, the base of the relationship isn’t steady, and any of the inevitable road bumps that come with life can send it crashing down.

The good news? Just because there might not be an immediate connection, they can all be nurtured and grow. If both people are invested in the relationship, they can learn how to better connect and form that solid foundation together.  

 It’s important to take stock in a relationship, especially a new one, and make sure that things aren’t uneven (or worse, missing!). If they are, there is no shame in moving on, even if there is a strong initial connection in one area. Not everyone is meant to connect, and that’s ok. It makes finding the one who we connect with on all three points that much more exciting and special!!

Cheers to staying balanced!!

~XO Langley

I warned you, didn’t I?! hahahahahaha — Thanks for sticking in there : )