Current Reading Pile

Here’s the most recent round of books that I’ve ordered and began digging into. Apologies for anyone with OCD – they are in the order I am reading them, not size, nor alpha, nor color, nor any other appealing pattern – ha! I thought about posting when I was done reading them all, but some are really good resources other people could benefit from now.

I originally ordered a lot of the relationship and healing ones post breakup, but a friend put a passage from the top book on Facebook, and it piqued my interest. I decided it was best to remind myself who God is and what he can do. A firm foundation in faith can help put everything else in perspective and empower us to tackle the harder things. It’s an amazing deep dive on one part of scripture and I highly recommend it!! I have tons of highlighted parts and dog-eared pages.

The second one I tackled was the attachment theory workbook. I had already read Attached (a must-read if you find yourself back in the dating scene after decades away from it). I didn’t expect to cry so much reading this book. In black and white were the patterns I have learned over the last 3 years that in my mind were my protection, but had actually been pushing people away. Wasted effort and energy and anguish for nothing. But you cannot change something you cannot see… and I now see it very plainly.

I decided to go back to a spiritual book before moving on. My church just wrapped a series based on this book, so I thought I’d check it out. I don’t relate as much to the crippling anxiety and depression that it’s mostly about, but it was nice to take out the parts that could apply to my level of fear in relationships. It has lots of practical tips and is a super vulnerable and scriptural-based tool that I see would help someone really struggling with anxiety and possibly their faith.

This next one came recommended to me, and I am already hooked in the prologue and intro… “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” **chills** It has some work about self-consciousness, the power of our thoughts, and the stress and influence of our child wounds.

If I’m honest, that last one is serving as a buffer. I’m terrified about reading Esther’s book. I worry it will reopen some of my marriage wounds. My therapist said if I’m worried about reading the book, that’s a pretty good indicator that I should be reading it. I do think it’s important to understand why people are unfaithful. Important to those of us impacted, but also important to those who have transgressed. How can you not repeat what you do not understand? Not everyone flips that switch in an identical situation. Not everyone takes a step in that direction. Maybe knowing and understanding will put my fear at ease. Maybe I’ll just be sad. I don’t know. That one will be for a kid-free block of days for me to just sit in a blanket with Kleenex and a tea and power through.

The others are learning how my mind works, another devotional (skinny black one), and more trust and God. I think they have to go hand in hand for me. My strength will fail. I will have weak moments, I will lose hope –  I need to put that on someone who can handle it. God.

Cheers to growing ~ Langley