God Wink

I’ve been wrestling intensely with a decision about something for a solid week now. I’ve been fixated on all the details and potential outcomes and if there was any way to avoid making a decision at all. I stayed up way too late Monday after an already jam-packed day to process everything and get all my thoughts down on paper. One of my favorite songs has the line, “if I get it all down on paper it’s no longer inside of me” and it felt cathartic, but also very heavy to see it all in black and white. Afterwards, I wrote a very sad blog post about my feelings of failure and exhaustion that I planned to post in a few days.  

I had therapy today and got validation that I was making the best choice given the circumstances. I prayed about it on the drive home from therapy and then took a leap of faith. It felt like jumping out of a plane and not knowing if there was a parachute in the bag, but knowing the plane was going to crash anyway, so the jump was the only chance of survival. Tonight I spent 2.5 hours at church being reminded of my faith and all the good things that have happened to me during dark and scary times over the last few years.

I left church and opened my phone to a social media page. The very first post I saw was in a very specific support group I recently joined… a post from a stranger who had made the exact leap tonight that I had made a few hours earlier. She noted how much peace she was feeling, because even though she didn’t know the ending to the story, she knew it was the next right move. Her post brought me more peace about my own leap of faith.

I like to call moments like that a God Wink. A little “atta’girl” that I’m on the right path. The message at church this week was about Daniel in the Lion’s den and the reminder that God is a lantern to our feet, not a floodlight to show every detail of what is ahead. Psalm 119:105 “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”

 The decision isn’t relevant to this post and is something I’ll keep private. Although in time I believe it will be a beautiful story to tell – either because I was able to return safely to the original path, or because my decision made way for a path that doesn’t yet exist in my understanding. This post is a reminder (to you and me) that it is important to keep your eyes open to receive messages from God. It’s also a reminder that sometimes you need to let go, to let GOD

Hugs Friends,
Langley